Maybe I'm a tornado.

My door remains closed today, for if another human enters and faints in fear I might just cry. You could say my room is messy. Or you could say it is a sign of genius, or creativity, or some other ridiculous thing lazy and messy people make up to make themselves feel better. Yea... That would be me. See, but- I have an excuse! I am a student. Una estudiante! Through the hours, HOURS, of hard work.. there rests no time to clean my room. But most people can say that right? And most people can say: yea, my room is a mess. But seriously. Seriously. I don't think there has ever been a messier room then mine, ever. Ask anybody who has been in there in the past finals week. It has reached complete and utter destruction. I'm scared of it. I never go in there. I dread the fear of falling on my face from tripping on clothing and batteries, notebooks and lamps, muffin baskets and stuffed animals, pens and earrings, this list will continue... um, papers are everywhere too. It looks like a tornado hit it. And a tornado did kind of hit it, considering my windows were left open one night with a lot of wind, but honestly the wind didn't do much damage. But that can be my excuse... Ha, yes, my room.. A tornado hit it, so you know, I got to get some professional help here. And besides, I'm a student with hours of work, what's more important good grades or a clean room? 


YEA, well... Schools over. So umm... It's time to cook some clothing. 
Yes. I said cook as opposed to clean or tidy or something that made sense. You see, I was in the elevator once and an old women slowly came in the door way. She looked up and said hi, and then proceeded with, "I've got to check if my laundry's cooked!" I've used that phrase ever since. So, yes. It's time to cook some clothing, and then proceed to tidy my desk, and then of course get into some serious decorating. Because now I have the time. And the patience. And the desire. My. Room. Will. Be. The. Cooliest.
Just you wait and see!
Mhmm.. 
Just you wait and see. 

Happy Fathers Day DADDIO

What makes my dad special? Possibly it's his ability to completely obsess over little things for weeks, and his inability to stop talking about it. Currently it's eating raw foods, blending fruits and vegetables into juices, and forcing hemp vitamins down my throat. "Do you want a juice?" I feel like that should be tattooed on his face. "Do you want celery in your juice?" No, dad, for the last time! I do not take joy in drinking celery. Does that not frighten anyone? Drinking celery. Apparently not my dad, who drinks them up and up and secretly puts them in my vegetable drinks even when I tell him not to. I told him no ginger either and I tasted it in my drink yesterday. Sneaky, my dad is, and hilariously excited about eating right. I am now fully convinced that eating right can cure many "incurable" diseases out there, mainly because I hear him ranting about it in the background as I attempt to do my history homework. But his sudden urges to do things differently really do make me smile, and make my dadio unique. It usually comes along in the winter time when he isn't working the Yankees, walking around with knee high socks and a bandanna on his forehead. In the winter, he will come out of his room and have a new project idea. A few years back he came up with the idea for me to have a project runway birthday party, which was a really big success, another was to make aprons for everyone in the family for Christmas. This was remotely after the project runway faze, because the sewing machines were still out and the fabric was still in our hands reach. So, we took the fabric, and made aprons. Now, who else can say their father makes aprons? Not many, yes, I feel special. 

The next winter came making bread, although this obsession has died down, it is not gone forever as the apron faze seems to be. Occasionally he will make another one of his breads and try to feed it to me. That is another thing, I am always refusing his creative cooking attempts. He will use buttermilk, whole wheat flour, powdered milk, and other little things that kind of creep me out in his baking. I eventually try them, and even if I don't seem to be a fan dad, I love when you try to make things! I know I am making it seem like he can't cook for his life, but he really can. In fact, most humans enjoy his food, it may just be me refusing his bread and homemade hummus. Still, his dinner time meals are never to be brushed off, they are soooo yummmmy


He's blending some vegetables as we speak. hAhaAHAHA! 

Times have changed in Lilyville.
I don't feel good using this blog to make money. (which didn't end up working anyways: *see here*)
I filled out this form as to why I should get my ads back and then all of a sudden I didn't want to click the button. It was like, I was happy not having ads on my site. First of all, they are just annoying. I mean yes, once there was an advertisement about cheese which made me flip in the air! But otherwise it was about stupid things like teeth whitening and buying meat. It just didn't make sense. But I was blinded by the mula, and the dream of buying a camera.
I've decided to not send in my request for advertising.
It was kind of a thing that could have only been successful when I was displayed on blogs of note because then I was getting 1000s of views a day. Now, although still around 300 views, I feel like my profit gain of about 10 cents a day isn't worth the ugly ads all over my site. I also think that not having ads ADDS to the cooliness of having a cool blog. It's like, oooooo looky here! This person doesn't have annoying ads and isn't falling into the industrial world she lives in. Full of advertising and fat people that eat mcdonalds everyday. -- Wait, that came out randomly. But poopsickle, THIS IS A RANDOM BLOG SO LET IT BE! I don't appreciate people that eat mcdonalds everyday I'm sorry. If you can afford vegetables and sandwiches that do not coem from abused animals and workers, then do it. I really don't think there's an excuse for obesity in here. Don't go on some fat-free diet for a week and expect it to go away. Eat. Vegetables. Every. Day... Do some jumping jacks. Thank you.

PHHHHHHEEEEWWWW... Look at me being mean. I don't like being mean. But eating McDonalds.. no mcdonalds (it doesn't DESERVE to be capitalized) is being mean. Cruel. Evil even. Don't be evil. Eat at home. GOT IT? I sure hope so! Let's eat some organic cheese now shall we?

Wait, this is weird. I don't know what's going on but the idea of eating cheese does NOT interest me at this moment in time. For a while now... Cheese hasn't been on my mind. WHAT IS GOING ON? All I really want to do is pet it instead of eating it. So, I'm going to go into my kitchen and possibly pet some cheese. Sounds good.

DunDunDun

So... the mystery of the post on June 11th will be revealed. Unfortunately, no one was able to guess it! And so there will be no prize other than to myself.
Yes, I will be getting a prize.
Possibly...some rest? yes.. some rest!

Any who! If you observe at the end of the post, the words read, "Sleep No More Lily! Sleep No More."  I was hoping someone would point out that the words "Sleep No More" should read, "sleep no more". Without the random capitalization of the first letter in each word. Because this, my friends, was the clue to the answer... Unfortunately, nobody took my hint in the comments to victory. If someone had simply typed those words into google... But no, (russian accent) I tell you now the answer! 


The adventure I was describing on June 11 was Sleep No More, a show in new york city... An interactive show thingamagiggy that if you can, you HAVE TO SEE IT.


Maybe over time my viewers will become better sleuths. Mwaha . amwahah , ahhawhaha. (again, russian accent. So if you didnt read this last sentence in a russian accent please go back and read it again.) <- This sentence was a british accent. <- This one was a brooklyn !!!! jk KAY GUNA EAT A BUNNY<_ crazed man. .. .. . HAGHAGSAEJTsgzbdvkdhg 


Any who! It was no dream, although it felt like one. It was no book, no movie, nothing but something I actually experienced. Which is why I loved it so much. I was in this "movie" this "dream" it felt REAL. And so, my friends, you must go. 
                                                                 ***And  just as a side note, from now on if I say something followed with, "my friends"....  I am imitating an old russian feller. :) 
                                                                            

WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT?

A total of 64 people voted on the poll: 

A post about purple elephants	11 (17%)
An undercover special (dress up like someone else and face the world)	20 (31%)
Super spy mission in which I take pictures of complete strangers... hehehe	35 (54%)
A piece of art	3 (4%)
A piece of writing	5 (7%)
A random ramble	9 (14%)
another subway buddy	12 (18%)
A deathly poison? ... made with the ingredients in my cabinet.	9 (14%)

So it looks like we want some serious sleuthing... I will be going on some pretty fabulous adventures... And documenting them, because my grandma lent me her camera! yeeeeeeeeesssssssssss!!!!! 


Be excited everyone. Be excited. 

Watermelon Pie!

Nah! I didn't have water melon pie. But instead, I went to the barbers market and ate a watermelon stew. With lots and lots and lots of little little bugs inside. And within the watermelon, left me clueless to the point of seeking refuge in a hair cut. So what is this mysterious evening? What is the clue to which leads you to the truth. just remember children, just remember that the answer is in the way you say hello and the way you say hello to those that say goodbye, so why, why darlinks, do the bugs rest firmly on the wall? squashed like bugs... because they are bugs. that is why they are squashed, like bugs and that is why they cry, like bugs and dine like bugs and whine like bugs and poop like bugs! and oh here is where I lose the rhyme, and with time, so will you.

An adventure is what I experienced. So lost in another world that I wasn't in reality any longer. I was inside a movie, but not the star. Not the star, and not really in it. And it wasn't a movie either. Except when I picked up the phone and pretended to report that someone had been murdered, because the blood on the paper illustrated something had happened, then, I was in a movie. And when I walked up to the lit water fountain in a graveyard I felt like I was in a movie. -Just a moment, what is it I am talking about? Well how about I don't tell you this time. How about you read and try to piece it together, because that is what I did last night. I walked inside a reality of mystery, and became a detective, room to room I engulfed myself in clues without a goal in mind. What was I looking through? What was the mystery? The mystery was making sense of all the nonsense and of all the papers and of all the actors and of all the confusions and illusions and suspense. It was everything I have been craving for the past few months, a little sense of adventure, and the ability to leave the realm of everything being swell and entering danger, that wasn't real. I could do as I pleased, follow any instinct that existed within me. To follow that murderer, to follow that women eating raw meat, or to follow the man obviously driven mad, or to simply follow the smell of fake blood, and then find myself in a room of papers, full and full of insane asylum human reports. It was the ability to lose myself in places where humans faces are completely replaced with masks. And there was silence from our lips, the only sound penetrating my ears was the sound of music playing from hidden old fashioned radios, and sound tracks that told the actors what to do. It was like walking in a dream that someone else was having, and trying to decide what was happening, and how you had anything to do with it. The attention to detail in this place was deceiving, to the point where you begin to think you aren't in a house in Manhattan, that these people are not actors but are real, and everything before this was merely a dream. It was an adventure. I can't stress that enough! An adventure. Sleep No More Lily! Sleep No More.

click here for the answer

Oh... Camera

So, I just realized. My family doesn't have a functioning camera... And in order for me to make this blog as cool as it can possibly be, (by doing super spy missions, dressing up like people, going on adventures) my family really needs a camera! Okay, so technically we have a camera... But it just shouldn't count. And I'm being honest here papa and mum. The thing has a battery last of literally five minutes. It is just OLD. And it's funny because my mom keeps saying it's because me and my sister took too many pictures of ourselves. And I'm just thinking... W-What? Mom, you think our faces scare the camera enough to make it want to run out of battery? I mean, maybe it makes sense that the more clicks, the older it gets, the more prone it is to dying as a camera. But really, way to help our self esteems. hahaha, I'm just kidding. The other thing is our camera is just a basic point and shoot, and we've all decided it's time to get our hands on a real nice camera. And these are important years in our lives! We need to document them so that later on I have something to look back on!

This was the reason I got AdSense in the first place, so I could make a few bucks off this thing and get a camera! If you don't know what AdSense is, it's where you can sell advertisements on your blog and get some money.

On the Terms of Use it made me click a box that said, "I will not click my own advertisements!" So, naturally, I didn't, because that would be lying against some legally thing, and I really didn't want my account to be disabled. Over the course of 3 weeks I made 90 bucks and I was so excited.

But then the other day I got a message saying, "Dear Google User, because of suspicious clicking activity your account has been disabled and the money will be returned to the advertisers."

You should have seen my face when I got that email.
It was like a walrus.
A, WALRUS.
I couldn't contain my laughter, and how ridiculous it was. Like, everyday I would look back and say, ooo looky looky I made 10 bucks today! YAY ME!!!!!!!!! And now, I wasn't getting any of the money, and I really wasn't going to get a camera.

So, how did the suspicious activity come to exsistence? Basically, I think when I told my friends about my blog and advertising, they saw it as a perfect opportunity for me to buy them ice cream with the extra money. I can picture them going home, on to my blog, being the suspicious clicking activity, and thinking, "Oh yea! When Lily says, "Wow how did I get all this money?" I will say, BECAUSE I CLICKED THE BUTTONS! Then add in an, I love ice cream! Look at that ice cream store!" wink wink. I can also see my mom possibly clicking the advertisements...

In the end of the day, well, I think it's too bad. Maybe next time I can block my friends' computers, or something... But as for now it looks like I'm really not going to get a camera for me or my family.

So, if you are reading this dear AdSense, (which I actually REALLY doubt you are and if you were I probably would have made it seem a little less like it was my fault...) Please, Please give me one more chance! Not for me. But for the baby camera, that cute widdle baby camera just waiting and waiting to be mine. I promise in the future I will forbid my friends and family from touching those advertisements if I get another chance, you know how? By telling them they aren't getting no ice cream out of my pocket. No but seriously. I want camera. I want want want camera. So bad that I am forgetting English.. Oh yes, I want A camera. BABOOMMM!!!!!!!!

Hey, sorry this story isn't done. SO DON'T. LEAVE.

I also made an account on QuiBids, (a stupid penny auction) to try to get my camera off there. The penny auction worked like any other penny auction, except it had robots. Illegal robots man! And I'm being completely serious. Humans do not go on there, they are robots. I actually think that QuiBids is doing something illegal, and has robots bidding constantly so that the real humans lose all their money. I know you may be thinking, "WOW Lily. Way to be a sore loser." But I'm not kidding. And it is really easy to have robots, or possibly people that work in the company win these deals. I have multiple suspicious things going on...

1. I was about to win an ELECTRIC scooter on the site and then my computer, (which was NOT out of battery) all of a sudden SHUT DOWN, and then I lost the bid. IS THAT NOT SUSPICIOUS?
2. I got suspicious that there were robots on the site, because there was one person that just kept winning and winning and winning, so I did some research and found a LOT of robot complaints. A LOT.

Words of advice:

One, do not let your friends click ads on your site, unless you want to be led into thinking you will get all this money and then it is ALL taken away from you.

And two, do not go on QuiBids, ever, it's a robot hangout.

Then three of course, don't take too many pictures of yourself on your camera, because it will eventually get so sick of you and scared, that it will lose all its battery and die.

If you could have ANYTHING right now...

I keep asking myself this question, "If you can have ANYTHING right now, what would it be?" I of course, need to reply in a very detailed manner, and it's really interesting to actually think about it. Instead of just giving a quick answer like, NO HOMEWORK or ICE CREAM, to actually think and say... Well, at this moment, this exact moment, I would really, really, like this, this, and this.

So now it is my turn to answer. And when I'm done it's your turn.

Right now... What I really would like is... I really want a little puppy in my living room... And, it would make me really happy if the sand man would come in my window and turn on the AC for me so my eyeballs don't melt. It. Is. So. Hot. In. Here. Oh. My. God. But let's get more realistic. I really want... to receive an email from the Board of Ed saying that tomorrow school is completely cancelled. That the weather is too extreme to let us travel to school. YES, a storm. A tornado. Okay, I know what you are thinking, WHAT THE HECK WHY DO YOU WANT A TORNADO. But I do, I want something crazy to happen, and no one to get hurt, but a lot of things to get blown around and destroyed! And then, then what I want is another black out.

But in terms of what I want at this exact MOMENT...

All I want is to get off the computer, drink some water, and be able to go to bed. But I can't. Cause I gotstadododo all this work!!!

alright guys, have a good night. And remember, you can have anything you want if you just close your eyes and give it to yourself. haaaaaaaaa. don't forget to comment on what you really want right now!

Zee Art

Sometimes

the key to nonsense is accepting it.