Me? A hobo? No...

How much of a hobo are you?
And what I mean by that is, how strange do you let yourself get?
I don't mean to be offensive to hobos of which I have limitless respect for, the way they choose to wear their hair, stylish, ripped clothing and a gait that sends chills down the spines of rats, but come on, when someone says the word hobo, you probably think of something like this:

right? Or maybe that's just me...

ANYWAY, hobos...
I feel like they just about sum up my life.
I mean if ever I am feeling odd or strange I often turn myself into a creepy hobo with a rounded back, slurred and crazed speech and funny words. I see them on the train, in the streets, sleeping on the ground, haunting my dreams...
But I never considered myself an actual HOBO.

Until that afternoon in early May.

Oh yes.

It was a sunday. The air was full of humidity and the sun hung in the sky about to set. I was full. My friend was full. Oh so very full I felt, full to the point that I could feel my belly rounding. You know, like an old mans belly. I had eaten pizza, guacamole samples, cheese samples, a vitamin water, brownie samples, bubble tea, and a cookie. But there was word in town that the bagel factory had the best bagels around. And that they throw out their day old bread at night because they only "sell fresh bread". And hey, we were out of money...

Now I know what you are thinking. Where are you going with this? Are you really considering eating from a garbage? A Garbage? But listen...

These are the best bagels around. And the best bagels around require unique thinking...

So me and my friend went outside of the bagel shop. Looked around and quietly opened up the garbage bag. Acting completely casual, you know, looking completely normal. We open the bag, look inside, and I'm telling you it is a utopia of bread. MOUNTAINS of bread. Soft, squishy bread that still has FLOUR on it.

And at this moment in time my hobo instincts took over. As me and my buddy reached inside the bag (which only had bread in it... no garbage) and ate the best bagels of our lives. It's not even a bagel it's so good. It's like... eating clouds!


  1. Hey, a true hobo knows no limits. And free bagels? Pleeease!! I can't get a good bagel out here in the wild, wild west, fresh or otherwise. You should always be on the hunt for a good bargain, and free food is as good it gets.

  2. It's true.... dozens upon dozens of food chains throw perfectly good food away.

    Lily, I'm happy that you found your bagels and enjoyed them. I'm sorta trying not to worry about you, but at the same time I'm really admiring your sense of adventure and wishing I were with you.

  3. Are you serious? Where is this joint?

  4. Yup you just got yourself invited into the Hobo club!
    However, sounds like you don't regret it for one second! LOL

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Only a hobo would spell 'flour' as 'flower', so this seems very legit. (hehehaha love your writing)

  7. i'm the friend in this story!! thats right thats right i'm lily's hobo friend

  8. It's getting to 11am here at work, and your talk of tasty wasty garbage bagels is making me hungry!

    The next hour is going to be tough.

  9. "it still had flour"... hahaha I just found your blog and I'm already in love <3

  10. I catch a cold very easily. So while visiting my son in Philly earlier this month, I grabbed a snowcap with a pom pom on it. Incidentally I had that cap on even after getting dressed to go out with kids. My son reminded me to take my hat off somewhat in this manner " Mama, are you really cold? You look like homelss ladies." I quickly took my hat off and he smiled. "Now you look like you have a home." My daughter gets angry when people give importance to fashion over health.


  12. Way to be super eco safe! Hobo swag!

  13. vera your blog sucks buttss

  14. Excuse me.... but if you're going to tell someone something like that, have the decency to show you identity.

    This blog rocks!

  15. Definitely a hobo move, however I've eaten a bagel that fell in the floor of my car. Who knows what lengths I'd go for the 'best bagels around'. Should have taken the whole bag!

  16. lol thats hilarious, i dont think i wlda done it but,....gud luck with that lol very interesting

  17. Ahhh the infamous dumpster. BREAD!!!! Go get some old bread off of the shelf at a store and feed a few birds, ducks, turtles, whichever you prefer. It's fun...:))


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