Me? A hobo? No...

How much of a hobo are you?
And what I mean by that is, how strange do you let yourself get?
I don't mean to be offensive to hobos of which I have limitless respect for, the way they choose to wear their hair, stylish, ripped clothing and a gait that sends chills down the spines of rats, but come on, when someone says the word hobo, you probably think of something like this:

right? Or maybe that's just me...

ANYWAY, hobos...
I feel like they just about sum up my life.

I mean if ever I am feeling odd or strange I often turn myself into a creepy hobo with a rounded back, slurred and crazed speech and funny words. I see them on the train, in the streets, sleeping on the ground, haunting my dreams...

But I never considered myself an actual HOBO.

Until that afternoon in early May.

Oh yes.

It was a sunday. The air was full of humidity and the sun hung in the sky about to set. I was full. My friend was full. Oh so very full I felt, full to the point that I could feel my belly rounding. You know, like an old mans belly. I had eaten pizza, guacamole samples, cheese samples, a vitamin water, brownie samples, bubble tea, and a cookie. But there was word in town that the bagel factory had the best bagels around. And that they throw out their day old bread at night because they only "sell fresh bread". And hey, we were out of money...

Now I know what you are thinking. Where are you going with this? Are you really considering eating from a garbage? A Garbage? But listen...

These are the best bagels around. And the best bagels around require unique thinking...

So me and my friend went outside of the bagel shop. Looked around and quietly opened up the garbage bag. Acting completely casual, you know, looking completely normal. We open the bag, look inside, and I'm telling you it is a utopia of bread. MOUNTAINS of bread. Soft, squishy bread that still has FLOUR on it.

And at this moment in time my hobo instincts took over. As me and my buddy reached inside the bag (which only had bread in it... no garbage) and ate the best bagels of our lives. It's not even a bagel it's so good. It's like... eating clouds!