Guilt, oh the guilt.
I've felt this guilt for months now and I think it is finally time to express it, to release it, embrace it, and send it out for others to reprimand me for...
I was at the pier, re-reading a book, and eating my sandwich under a tree. It was a chicken teriyaki subway sandwich with chicken (doy!), unions, lettuce, cheese, and peppers in it. Yum yum yum. With the sun on my feet and enough shade for reading, I was quite happy, and could hear little birds chirping above me. As one of them approached me, I obviously wanted to feed it so I took off a little piece of my sandwich and threw it near the bird. The bird picked it up and flew back to its tree.
If you aren't screaming right now I don't think you realize what I did.
Or maybe you don't care about birds...
But let me translate...
I FED A BIRD A PIECE OF CHICKEN.
it's like you feeding your baby another human.
I AM A MONSTER!!
Just in case this poor bird checks my blog:
dear little bird,
I can not express my sadness for you. You have just eaten one of your own. One of the birds that could not fly. That could not escape the humans that domesticated it, killed it, and ate it. All I want you to do is know that I will return the badness on to myself. Tonight I will eat my sisters hand. That's right. I will eat my sisters hand. Get a fire going, add some spices, and I will eat it. This is the only way I can feel the disgust right when you ate the chicken.
Now just a moment... Let's say you have never eaten chicken before (which is hopefully the truth) you couldn't have possibly known what chicken tastes like. So you might have thought you were only eating fruit or something! Unless of course you are extraordinarily bright and can understand English, or understand the concept of how different fruits taste (chicken not tasting like any of them) or can tell by looking at the food what type of animal it is. But if you knew what kind of meat the chicken was by looking at it, you would NOT be able to blame me for feeding you because you willingly ate it! Haha!
Oh little birdie, perhaps I am not to blame.
Or perhaps I do not make sense...
Or perhaps you took the chicken and did not eat it.
Yes, that's it you didn't eat the chicken!
But I was looking forward to eating my sisters hand...
Maybe I still will...
Maybe I should stop freaking you out poor little birdie.
Good bye now.
Don't eat food from strangers that are reading and aren't paying attention.
Bye bye now!
I still think you ate it.